Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Back in the Advocacy Saddle Again

Crazy week over here. My husband injured his back and my son fell and has a mild concussion. And I am restless. I need to reign in the Lisa I used to be, the strong, supportive one. I discovered her when I was ten and taking Mom to see Dad in the nursing home. Now, don't get me wrong, I am being strong but only on the outside. Inside I am scattered.

Crazy week over here. My son is having memory issues and missing school. He was already struggling. I am restless but I need to reign in the Lisa I was when Mom was sick and I had to advocate for proper health care. I need to fight for my son's needs to be met at school. But the fight has gone out of me---didn't have much to begin with. My husband sent an e-mail to my son's case worker at school. That helped but really I need to be the one doing these things. 

Crazy week over here. I'm not sure how long it will last. I looked up the after care instructions on-line since they didn't give them to me in the ER (they printed the wrong diagnosis) and memory could take months to return. I hope not. My son seems frustrated by it and I hate to see him like this.

Crazy week over here, but I've been through crazier. By remembering what I went through with my mother, I realize I can advocate for my son's needs. I've done it before.

Crazy week over here. Time to saddle up.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


Days that I miss Mom are not in short supply
Her birthday
Mother's Day
and today.

Today I am struggling. I'd like to share my struggle with her. After some initial shock and motherly advice she'd go straight to prayer. And today I need a mother's prayers. Prayers that can get past the walls I've let be built brick by brick. The mortar has dried. I need someone's prayers to get through.

Today, I need my mother's prayers.

If what is happening now had happened 25 years ago, she'd be happy for me. I think. But I am not who I was then. I'm at a different place and this thing I'm struggling with is out of place, so I need my mother in her place---approaching the throne of God on my behalf.

Today, I am having a Romans VII day

Today, I need her to hold me and tell me she loves me no matter what. I need her to pray me through today giving me strength to do what I know must be done. But I know it won't be easy or done in a day but tomorrow will become today so ...

Today I need my mother's prayers.

One day obedience will melt the mortar and the bricks will lie in heaps on the ground. One day obedience will haul off the bricks. One day obedience will be my prayer path to His Throne. But one day hasn't come. It is still today.

Today I wish she were here.